Month: November 2020

10 Ways to Survive Online Learning

Schools across the nation are closing due to increased Covid-19 cases. Parents are working from home and doing their best to balance work, school, and relationships. Kids are experiencing anxiety and depression from the inconsistent schedules and being away from teachers and friends. This is transferring to what they accomplish at home and how they are interacting with siblings and parents. Life is quickly becoming a mess for many families. We all still love our kids with our whole hearts, and we want what is best for them, we want them to learn. But let’s be honest, for some of us, online learning is a struggle. So, how do we love and support our kids through this stressful time? Here is my top 10 list for surviving online learning:

1. Create a written schedule (and stick to it): Schedule classes, zooms, downtime, everything they could need to get through the first half of the day. (Note I said the first half of the day… more on that next.) Make this a routine and include time for you to check in on them and answer questions. Set the example. If your child gets off task, the day is not lost. You can increase your check in times, redirect them, answer their questions, and make sure they know you are there for them. (which is truly the most important thing.)

2. Allow flexible seating: your child does not have to work at a desk or a table. Where do they feel comfortable? Where are they the most focused?

3. Allow for frequent breaks: These breaks should last at least 10 minutes and can be a great time for kids to get a snack, a drink, or just move around. This also prevents excuses during online learning because they know a break is coming. Look at your day as three main chunks: after breakfast, after lunch, and after dinner. It’s an easy plan that kids of all ages can understand. (P.S. a break is not more screen time. Breaks are not for phones or video games.)

4. Do the hard stuff first: if they hate Math, get it out of the way! Starting with the harder things allows them to use all their energy, determination, and focus to tackle the difficult subjects. It teaches them not to procrastinate and to learn when to ask for help. If they get stumped, it can give them time to zoom with their teacher or ask a question via email. If your child absolutely needs your help on a specific subject, make time for it in the schedule above.

5. Reach out to teachers: Educators are sad and stressed being away from their students. This is just as hard for them as it is for us. If problems arise, send an email, or attend a zoom. I find, they are more than happy to help. One of the best ways to handle the stress of it all is to communicate! You are not a bother; you are doing your best to support your child.

6. Allow kids to vent: kids need a place to say if they think something is dumb or frustrating. They need to know you understand, you are not going to judge them for it, and you will help them work through their emotions. In a crisis like this one, the old fashioned “buckle down and focus” conversation can make things worse. Making a child laugh at a situation and preserver is far more effective.

7. Document concerns: if you notice your child have frequent meltdowns, using avoidance strategies, refusing to read or write, and anything else that seems out of character, WRITE IT DOWN. Keep track of the frequency, times of day, and what could be the trigger. This is valuable information that teachers use to determine if there is a potential learning disability. They can also use it to make accommodations for your child, so the work is more manageable.

8. Ask for accommodations: let the school know your child might need extra-time to complete assignments. Ask for alternative assignments. For example, if writing is a challenge maybe they can submit a video. If lengthy reading passages are a problem, ask for an audio version of the book. There are many solutions!

9. Use tech tools: It is ok to google something, ask Alexa, or look for helpful videos on YouTube. It is ok to use speech to text or audiobooks. We all do it! (Yes, even the well-trained educational advocate needs help with 7th grade Math.) There are wonderful resources out there like Khan Academy or Grammarly that can be a lifesaver.

10. Give yourself Grace: You are not a trained educator. You love your child fiercely but putting pressure on yourself to be an expert in excel or algebra or any other topic is unrealistic. Joke with your kids about it. Take deep breaths, set small goals, and congratulate yourself for surviving another round of online learning! www.inspire1learning.com

Getting Personal

Today I am compelled to write about my daughter. This is not from an advocate, this is from me, the Momma of a child with Dyslexia. The Momma who gets frustrated her daughter is in third grade and cannot spell basic site words. The Momma whose child reads an entire grade level behind. The Momma who is trained in all things education, advocacy, special education, and uses the Barton Method with fidelity. The Momma whose heart still breaks because of the mountain my daughter has to climb when it comes to literacy.

In the beginning, my “M” started off great with reading. I was so proud of her bringing home her little level A books and reading every night in Kindergarten. She made progress and was moving through the standards guided reading levels. I never suspected a thing. I was confident she would make gains and learn to read and write. Then, in second grade, something changed. It was like she just got stuck. It took longer and longer to move to the next level. Words confused her. She guessed all the time when reading and could not spell. She avoided writing and reading. She would find ways to get me or the computer to read it for her. She would send video and audio responses instead of typing them. She was a pro at avoidance strategies!

I know it was not her teacher. She had the most amazing teacher. A woman who is an expert in her field. This teacher knows literacy inside and out. I have the utmost respect for her ability as an educator and her opinion. If this teacher could not get my daughter to make progress, I knew something was up. She moved to third grade and these problems persisted (even with another excellent teacher). Yet here I was, a trained advocate and a trained teacher questioning my own insight. I am someone who knows about pedagogy, methodology, and child development. I found myself wondering, “Is there something wrong? Is she not paying attention? Is she not working hard enough? Did I not read enough to her? Did I not make her read enough? Was she not in a literacy rich environment?” I went through all those questions and self-doubt that I warn parents about. Everything I knew about Dyslexia went out the window. Everything I knew about teaching and learning, forgotten. I just could not fathom that my child, the child of an expert, was struggling. I was not trusting my instincts that she was struggling because of Dyslexia. I knew it in my core and could not admit it. I am ashamed of this fact.

My thought process was completely skewed. Yes, my daughter had reversals of letters, but that is not the only indicator of Dyslexia, it could just be a developmental thing. So, I dismissed it. Yes, my daughter mixed up letters when she wrote words. Again, it could be developmental. Her spelling? Atrocious! Her reading fluency? Choppy! Her ability to decode words? She guessed! I had to take a hard look at all of these pieces of evidence. I could not blame her teachers, they were wonderful. I could not blame myself, although I tried. I could not blame her, unfortunately I tried this too. It boiled down to understanding this was all beyond her control because she lacked the tools she needed.

We started the Barton method in May. This was not easy. She did not want Momma to see how she had been coping, compensating, and covering. It was eye opening. Her struggle was far worse than I had thought. One lesson could take three, 45-minute sessions for her to process. Sometimes, I had to go back and re-teach lessons. She needed explicit, repetitive, multi-sensory instruction. It was a whole new way of looking at literacy and it was a major shift for her. This philosophy contradicted everything she had been taught about Reading and Writing. Now on level 4, I still remind her not to guess and to use her knowledge of language and letter sounds to decode a word.

I wish educators would understand, this is such a long road. It takes patience, determination, and strength to do what you know your child needs. I wish educators would understand this is not made up, not an excuse, and that parents of children with Dyslexia are not crazy. I wish they would not be so dismissive. I wish they knew that certain methods of teaching reading will do more damage than good. A multi-sensory method will serve my child far better. Reading and writing is not one size fits all and being trained in multiple methods will benefit students. I wish educators would do an in-depth study on Dyslexia to understand it better. I wish they would understand the years I have spent studying Dyslexia, working with students who have Dyslexia, and advocating for them; then maybe they would see the validity to the discussion. I wish they could see how using an inappropriate method severely affects children with Dyslexia. It makes them hide who they are. It makes them pretend because they think they are dumb.

My daughter is smart and spunky. She is creative and funny. She is so much more than her struggle, her guided reading level, or her poor spelling. She is full of beautiful ideas that are difficult for her to express through written language. Last year, I had a little girl who would never read signs wherever we went. This summer, at Reptile Gardens, she read every sign and piece of information we passed. I almost cried. I had a girl who would not write thank you cards because she could not spell all the wonderful things she wanted to say. Now, she makes cards for fun. I had a girl who would never pick up a book and read to herself. (She preferred catalogues because of the pictures.) Now, she will choose a book to read because she wants to. She was bored this weekend and uttered the words,” I guess I’ll read a book.” What? I love that!
It has taken us 7 months to move 4 levels in Barton. That is unusually long. This just speaks to how much time we needed to understand basic sounds. She processes slowly and we only work on it a few times a week because it is exhausting for her. She still has struggles. She still cannot spell “people”, but we are working on it. She can, however, understand digraphs, blends, long and short vowels, and a myriad of other things she could not do 4 months ago. This is the best decision I have ever made for her. I am giving Barton time to fill the holes left by guided reading and then will likely pursue a 504 plan.

It is sad I do not trust the public schools across the state of South Dakota to handle Dyslexia appropriately. (It is not their fault; they lack training and understand of this complex disability.) She does need specialized instruction from the school, and I am fortunate to have the training to provide that for her. Most parents do not. She will also need accommodations. She may need audio books or verbal responses on tests. Her work will need to be looked at for its ideas instead of its spelling. She needs things that can reveal her true intelligence and help everyone see her beyond Dyslexia.

I look forward to the day when she can read and write confidently. I know Dyslexia will always be an issue for her. I am thankful I can give her the tools she needs to make progress and find success. I am thankful for my training and understanding of this topic. I am thankful for this platform to tell my daughter’s story. I hope this reaches another family struggling, another family with questions, another family who does not know what to do and needs help. I am here. The Dyslexia community is here. We can help. Thank you for reading. www.inspire1learning.com

Hey Parents….listen up!

Hey Parents, did you know how you approach an IEP meeting has a serious impact on its outcome? What kind of energy are you bringing to the table? Are you biased? Do you have negative past experiences? Do you feel fear? embarrassment? anger? Do you just want to cry? I think I have worked with families that experience all these emotions. This is what I call “educational baggage” and trust me, we all have it. It all stems from what school was like for us, how we learned, and how we process the hopes and dreams we have for our children. I have had parents call me in rage, in tears, and in utter confusion. I listen, understanding this all comes from the love you have for your children, knowing we must work through them to be an effective team.

Part of my job is to help you understand these feelings and determine if they are useful to our goal. Yes, parents cry at IEP meetings. It happens all the time, but I can tell you it does nothing to help your child. I know that is hard to hear but it is true. Teams see people cry all the time and it is not productive. However, taking those emotions and turning them into an impact statement or actionable goals is far more powerful. This can help the team better understand you, your family, and your child.

If I am to stand up for your child to the best of my abilities, I need to understand every part of your child’s history, including family dynamic. I have to understand your experiences with school and your child’s experiences. This helps me paint a more accurate picture of your child. We are looking at the WHOLE child, not just the one at school. For example, some children work all day to hold it together, to keep their behavior and emotions in check and then blow up at home. This is important information for the school to know. The team can work to help your child process during the day to lessen the reactions at home. Hiding your home life and experiences is a detriment to creating an effective plan.

To make a strong plan, I also try to see things from the perspective of the district. This can be confusing to families. Yes, I am there to represent your child, but I am also there to help you understand what fights are worth fighting. I have relationships with the people working with your children. I know when something we might be asking for is not possible. (We can still ask for it, but I will tell you it’s not likely as we plan.) Often, the two parties in IEP meetings see things very differently. These different perspectives can cloud judgement and decision making on both sides. This is often the case when discussing something like methodology. I often push for Orton Gillingham to be used for a child with Dyslexia. The district disagrees claiming their methods, training, and systems are enough to meet the needs of the child.
Understanding this perspective helps us shape the conversation.

Remember, I am not a “hired gun”. I do my best to stay unbiased and focus on the child’s needs. What is in the best interest of the child? What do they absolutely need to succeed in school? Are our requests reasonable? Are we placing too much responsibility on the school? Are we not considering our own roles and responsibilities? I would be failing as an advocate who claims to represent the whole child if we did not look at ALL the angles.

In conclusion, to make the most of my services, it is important share details about your child and family life. It will be helpful to work through emotions that can hinder progress at a meeting. We also may need to answer some hard questions. We will be prepared, calm, in control, and keeping the focus on your child’s needs once we do. In the end, it will all be worth it.